CHIMOISMS

Herewith some comments and observations over the years by my son Chimo, who is now almost 14:

As twelve year old:

Joey shows disrespect right before going to movie, so I say we are leaving him and Chimo and I go get in the car. I look to Chimo and say, "Aren't you going to talk me into taking your brother?" "Nope. I think we should leave him." "Really?" "Yeah, Dad. He was disrespectful. Let's go." I give him the Dad stare. After a minute or so, he says, "Okay, I'll go up and get him. But I'm not telling him I talked you out of it."

Chimo's review of the latest HOBBIT installment: "It was okay, but if they are going to add extra movies they should at least follow the book. They added characters and scenes that didn't exist."

Commented that Pat Benatar was looking very nice, and Chimo says, "You just say she is still cute because she is getting older with you."



As eleven year old:

Joey: "Dad just tells us the definitions he likes. There are others." Chimo: "Yeah, but the olden ones are the bestest ones."

After seeing movie Batman, Chimo says, "That was the best Catwoman ever."



As ten year old:

About fifteen minutes after sending him to his room for instigating an argument with his brother, I hear a plaintive request: "Dad, can I be released from the brig now?"

Joey: "Hold this, and stop being annoying." Chimo: "Isn't it the job of the younger brother to be annoying?"

Chimo and his fixation on Star Trek! When he heard someone fart at the restaurant, he said, like the computer on the ENTERPRISE. . . "Warning! Rising Carbon Monoxide levels. Warning!."

A cicada flew into the house, terrifying Joey, who kept yelling, "kill it, kill it." Chimo calmly looks at his brother and says, "but why? it's just a harmless lifeform."

Chimo was playing ZELDA, and he stopped to ask for advice. I told him he had to use good time management to win this game, and he looks down and says, "Is this one of those life-lesson things?"

"Dad, if I were taking random photos like you do, but of you, I think fifty percent of the time you would have a book in your hand."




As nine year old:

Joey defeats Chimo in video duel: "I employed my 'moving technique.' It can't be beat." Next round, I hear Joey say, "Damn," as Chimo shoots him. Then Chimo says, "I employed my own technique. Standing still and aiming."

The boys and I were chatting about my friend, who died recently, and Chimo says, "It's ok, Dad. You know you are going to Heaven. You are kind, caring. . .and you are a bookworm." Well, who knew God was a bibliophile?

A neighbor says, "Chimo, your house looked very picked up." Chimo responds, "Yes, I did 99.9% of it, the rest Dad did."

Was driving about with Chimo, looking for garage sales, when I belatedly put on my seat belt. . .and I hear him say: "What, is there a cop!"

Chimo, talking to Joey: "I like walking behind Dad cause of the shadow. He could block out three suns."

Chimo comes back to school. He has a brand new teacher, from Rhode Island. He says, "You know Dad, I like having a new teacher, cause they forget a lot of things we are supposed to be doing, but when he learns the schedule, my classmates and I are doomed!"

Chimo and I were driving around, after dropping Joey off for a Boy Scouts service project, and out of nowhere, Chimo asks..."Dad, are there any companies whose motto it is 'Service With A Hug'?"

Chimo is watching a cartoon, when an advertisement comes on touting a Shirley Temple collection. After it is over, he turns to his brother and says, "What's entertaining about that?"

Chimo on Army logistics: "I think soldiers should start shooting onions at their enemies."

After dropping Joey off at Scouts, Chimo and I went to the bookstore. While walking there he turns to me and says, "Dad, I like your new moccasins." Then, after a pause, "I bet that's the only compliment you got today."

"Dad! I wasn't smacking. . .I was savoring."

While going through line at dinner, the cashier asks where Joey was. I said that he was on a three-day field trip to the coast. And then Chimo adds: "And it's been the best three days of my life!"

I showed Chimo a video I picked up of a well-known teen rock star, and he surprised me when he said, "I'm sorry, Dad. She is not part of my entertainment portfolio."

Cut the boys' hair. Chimo says, "If you cut it too short, I'm calling the authorities." Later, I hear him in the bathroom, looking at the mirror, "I'm never going to be blonde."

Chimo is slowly inching a shopping cart between two cars, and taking forever in the Walmart parking lot. I ask, "Chimo, what are you doing?" He replies, "I'm trying not to alarm the cars."

Took the boys to a movie, in which several bad people got their due, and we were discussing the movie on the way back, when from the rear of the truck I hear Chimo: "You know Dad, I think there was some heavy karma in that movie."

In the other room, I heard a lot of huffing and puffing, as Chimo was playing with his Legos. Then I heard, "Arrrggggg. I need the address of this company, cause these things aren't hanging together. Legos sucks." After a few minutes of this, I called him back and ask him what the problem was. He said that his spacecraft wasn't holding together. I told him he needed to calm down." He stops me and says, "Dad, don't worry about it. I know how to make modifications to my design. I am a professional. Besides, don't you know that professional engineers are supposed to get mad when their constructions aren't working right?"


As eight year old:

"Dad, you like women with black or red hair, right?" "Well, yes," I replied. Then he paused and said, "You know, I don't care what the hair color is, just so long they have a smokin' body."

Walking alongside me at the flea, and he says, "Dad, I like when you find things you didn't know you needed!"

"Yes, Dad, I know what a blockade is."

While reading, he kept missing easy words, partly from innattention and wanting to speed through. I said, "Why did you say that, instead of what it was?" He looks at me: "I don't know, maybe I am hallucinating."

While talking about recycling he did on his vacation: "Wow, Dad, you know, they drink a lot of beer in Connecticut."

I saw this very attractive woman and said, "Boy, she sure is pretty." Chimo looks over and says, "Well, if she had a better face."

After staying with Patty for a vacation, I asked Chimo if she had to yell at him a lot? He responded: "No. She mostly yelled at Andrew [her son]. You would think after living with her all this time he would know what she wants!"

Me: "So, what did you think of Pennsylvania?" Chimo: "Nothing but corn! Lots of it. They should rename it Cornavania."

Me: "Did you visit the base often [while staying at my brother's house]? Chimo: "Yeah, we went to the office, exchange. . . and for beer runs."